The Last Stand

I have barely hours before my final exams. Not surprising is the fact that I have very little motivation to read my half baked notes and ill prepared handouts. I realise that this exams are the crown of 5 years of effort to get a good degree. I realise that there are alot of people who would wish they were in my shoes, if only for the fact that they seek a degree, or that they seek a good degree in a prestigious course like Electrical / Computer Engineering.
As I prepare to write these exams, my mind is flooded by mixed emotions.
I am happy because this will mark the end of a phase of my life I have been working on for the past six years plus, minus the time i spent anticipating it.
I am happy because moving on will afford me the opportunity to invest my energies in pursuing my new set of goals without having to worry about skipping classes and all. it basically strikes off a big item on my priority list.
I am happy because I will be able to look back on the last couple of years and regard them as successful, as far as a first degree is concerned. But at the same time, I am saddened because there are so many people that I would have loved to be able to share this moment with me, some have been taken away by death, some have been taken away by choices they made, and choices I made, some are physically with me but incapable of sharing and understanding what i feel as a hausa man understanding ibo. I am saddened because I am not proud of the quality of education that I have gotten over the past 5 years. I am saddened because there is a great gap between where I am academically and where I wanted to be. Still I am challenged. I am challenged because I realise that the little I have achieved in the past six years, I had to take from a system that was always ready to sell me short. I am challenged because the dark side of humanity, the evil side of man is as present as it has been in the history of life. This means that I cannot rest on my oars to be a better person both for myself and for the people that sorround me. I am humbled because I see the future as a great leaning mountain ahead of me, and I dare not think I can make it on my own. I am humbled because I realise that my honours degree supposedly a testament to how much i know, will remain a gnawing pointer to how little I do know.
However, I am not saddened, because I believe, and I hope and I dare to declare that Baba God in heaven ‘no dey sleep’. And that He that began a great work in my life and in the life of my colleagues will bring it to a fruitous climax.
I bear these thoughts in my mind as I prepare for the last stand!

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~ by whichlevel on October 6, 2008.